Your Dream

You wake up from your dreams,

With an idea of,

Making it come true.

But then you realize,

You can’t.

You just-

Can’t.

Even how eager you are,

In accomplishing it.

Means nothing,

As for some reasons,

Someone or something,

Will always try to bring you

Down, and tear you

Apart.

But you keep on doing it,

Because you believe in it,

Believe in-

Your dream.

Better

When the feelings,

The emotions,

The ideas,

Come in,

I swear,

That is the best moment

That could happen

To me.

Because I need those-

Emotions, feelings, ideas,

To spread my wings

And fly higher

Than before.

But sometimes,

What I did

Is not enough.

That’s why I’m stuck here,

Unable to move on.

Almost paralyzed.

Would you teach me,

To be better? 

Worth it

I bet you still remember

The moment when she

Would make you go nuts

Literally.

The moment you

Do everything she wants

Just to make her happy

Even when others

Think you are really,

Screwed up.

The moment you

Become a total duouchebag

By leaving up your friends

Just to be with her.

The moment you

Loses your ind,

Sanity,

And calmness,

In front of everyone,

Just because of her.

The moment when

Others are ogling at you

and her,

Over something

That shouldn’t be

Spreaded out

The moment

When you still wants to

Spend her your time

And money

Even you know

You are a total broke

In both ways.

The moment when

You would do supid things

And risk yourself

Just because

You wanna show your ‘true’ self

To her.

I just really hope

That she’s worth it. 

Why?

I was in pure darkness.

Sad.

Confused.

Envious.

And you came in,

Like a torch,

Lighted up my life.

Poured me glasses of gladness.

Made me dance to the rhythm.

Then you went away,

Dissappeared,

Left me

Sad.

Confused.

Shattered onto pieces

That can never be fixed.

Why?

Temporary sanity

I was surrounded

With everyone

Yet,

I still feel

Cold.

Lonely.

Empty.

I just wanna be free.

Like a strong stallion,

Run as fast as it can,

The moment,

When the rope is untied,

When the gate is opened,

To the finish line.

I don’t wanna be crazy.

I love this,

Temporary sanity.

That’s how I write

I’m just a lousy writer

Who unable to write

A perfect

poem.

I write when my mind,

Can’t shut down its system

Even my body urges.

Usually,

When I think too much,

Or emotional,

Like how gilrs normally do it.

I’m not gonna lie.

I’m being truthful.

That’s how I write. 

Songs

I am bounded

With memories

And songs.      

It’s amazing

When songs

Can make us

High.

Stirred between

Dreams,

Fantasies,

Memories.

We

Keep on listening

And singing

And drawn back

To memories within

Restless

I woke up this morning,

With a strange emptiness

In my mind,

And I don’t know why,

I souldn’t feel that way,

And I don’t like it.

It makes me feel,

Restless.

I need to change.

I really do.

But I can’t

I don’t know how to.

I’m sick

And tired

With all this shit.

I no longer know myself.

My true self.

Hiding, sneaking upon me,

Waiting the time

To grab my mind

With restless thoughts

And emotions.

Stop it.

Please.

Kill me

It’s killing me to say ‘no’,

To leave you

Dissappointed.

And I would kill

Just to be with you.

But I can’t do it.

I can’t.

Because,

There is always

This bad thing

That will always happen

That kills me inside out

When I’m with you

And I hate it.

I’m sorry.

I just can’t. 

I went to the beach

I went to the beach

To see her beauty,

Her crazy people,

The flowing sea,

The rolling waves,

To feel her breeze,

And her sand

Between my fingers.

There’s a cliff

On my left

It left me wonder.

Intrigued me.

To how do it feels,

To be on top of the cliff

And watching

The boulders

Constantly smashed

By the sea.

And it makes me wonder,

How does it feel,

To jump from it.

I don’t want them

Please.

Stop it.

Get out.

I can’t take it

Anymore.

It’s killing me.

Please.

I’m begging you.

Please, stop.

Stop standing there,

Smiling at me.

Go away.

I can’t stand

The weight above my shoulder

I can’t take it anymore.

Just go away.

I don’t want those memories anymore.

I don’t want them anymore. 

Habit

Everybody

Have the habit

Of destroying yourselves

They know they will get hurt.

They know they are hurt.

But they still do it anyway.

Why?

Because it’s a habit.

Is that makes them different

With everybody else?

No.

It don’t.

They are still the same,

With different habit,

That destroys themselves.

Fuck up

It’s funny,

When we live by promises,

That everything would be,

Just fine.

When at certain point,

We know,

That we will really,

Fuck up.

But that’s just how we roll

We become ignorant optimists

And believe in dreams

Until we fuck up

Again and again.

Are we strong enough

To live it up?

Seriously? 

Fantasy II

I need to

Control

And commands

My own mind’

To stop

Fantasizing you.

Because it’s killing me

To let know

That dreams that will

Never come true

Is merely fantasy.

Anticipate

I knew that you are different,

From any other girls,

Who would talk to me,

Since we are closing,

Towards each other.

You gave me strength,

Through your honest sayings.

You gave me reasons,

To keep believing.

I treasure it.

Although I’m a little bit,

Dying inside.

I should not be too easily,

Attached.

I should not anticipate,

For your stories

And problems,

Your demands for opinions

And advices.

Because it’s wrong.

So wrong.

It somehow,

Gave me promises,

That things will work out

For both of us,

Even I know,

That it would not.

Indecisive

I’m not a decisive person.

I can’t really decide,

On what should I do,

And what I shouldn’t.

It makes me wonder.

Why?

Maybe because I’m afraid,

Of something that I don’t know.

Or something that I haven’t know.

Bad things that could happen next,

In the future. 

Fantasy

You and I,

Together,

Listening to our music,

Dancing,

Having our own time,

Just for ourselves,

And each of us,

Hopes,

That this is not the last,

And it would be great,

If it’s not just my little fantasy. 

Silly

It was like a dream,

When the first time I set my eyes on you,

It’s beautiful,

Your eyes,

It’s beautiful.

It explains everything,

About things that I don’t understand.

And things that I don’t know.

Then I realized.

I’m just being silly. 

I think I’m in love

I was amazed.

Those feelings,

Are amazing.

Feelings that I can’t describe.

It feels so weird.

So-

Freaky.

But it felt really good.

Makes your day-

Way happier than before.

Happier-

Than I can even remember.

Where you see

Everything is candies

Everyone is so happy

Even when they are not.

It makes you think more.

Thinking about someone.

Another Person

When I was a kid

I used to think

That what if

I woke up another day

As another person.

What does it feels-

To be-

Someone else?

Would it be better?

Or it would be worst?

And now.

I’m still wondering,

When tomorrow’s sun comes up,

Would I woke up

As the same person as I am today?